Ok, when did life turn into the Super Bowl? Or better yet WWF SmackDown?? EVERYTHING is a competition! This all came apparent to me this morning while driving my daughter to her high school. Her drop off area is in front of her school and every morning it is like the Indy 500 meets a Walk-a-Thon with cars all competing for the front spot and kids on foot darting in and out rushing to make the first bell. No parents are willing to wait and all insist on pushing down the cattle shoot to be able to drop their little darlin’ off right in front”¦this is almost impossible as really the driveway is only large enough for two cars to be side by side but somehow 3 squeeze thru”¦unless one is an SUV and then they are King and take up the two spots. I find it interesting with all the cars so close together no eye contact is ever made between parent drivers”¦shows weakness I guess. Heaven forbid you might look at someone and have to nod and give up the right of way.
My suspicions were confirmed we have moved into the ESPN Zone when driving thru my older neighbor where the streets are narrow. If cars park on either side of the street it makes it a slalom course and only one car at a time can fit thru. And this morning I met a Fiesta ready and willing to play chicken with me. Being the non-competitive person I am”¦gladly pulled over between two parked cars allowing the Fiesta to speed by. All of this got me to thinking”¦yes, that is a dangerous thing.
I take notes”¦I make lists”¦I worry I might not be prepared if there IS a test at the end of all this”¦”Ah I’m sorry God but I didn’t know we really had to pay THAT much attention.” So once home I ran my morning thru my head and came up with this theory”¦hypothesis”¦idea”¦REVALATION! Sorry, had 2 cups of coffee today”¦.
1. The world is divided into 4 Teams”¦The Haves, The Have Nots, The I’m Takin’ Yours and the I Don’t Care (this Team use to be known as I Don’t Give a Rat’s”¦but was found to be too controversial)
2. Training starts at birth
3. Rules change daily
4. Team uniforms vary wide from Dior to Wal-Mart. Some Team members try to trick you by wearing other Team colors as status…that in itself is a competition.
5. There are no subs”¦once you’re in you’re in for the game!
6. Team equipment consists of cars, clothing, houses, iPods, cell phones, pets, gym memberships”¦heck anything goes into play at some point!
7. Extra points are given out randomly for front parking spaces grabbed, having “My Kid Is On The Honor Roll” bumper stickers, the loudest cell phone ringtone, longest Christmas Newsletter and maxing out more than 5 credit cards.
Ok”¦I’ve made my point (well in my mind at least). Call me a whiner”¦but I’m so NOT interested in making first string. I’ll gladly warm the bench and watch everyone else huff and puff their way thru life”¦stressed out and pushing to be first in line, first on the block with the newest model cars, TV screens so big I can sit in MY living room and watch”¦I given up trying to keep up with the Jones”¦heck it’s hard keeping up this level of average!
Anyone else wants to join me on the bench?