Monthly Archives: January 2019

Dept of Transportation Procedures

Having moved across the country just 2 years ago, we have encountered a few problems here and there with different state policies. Nothing major, until yesterday. We have a Jeep Wrangler that broke down and we were not driving it at all. It was sitting in our driveway and we had canceled the insurance. My hubby is very mechanical, and set out to do the major repairs on it over the last month or so. He finally finished it this weekend. With that being said, the registration was overdue and so he had to renew it. He got all the paperwork together and went to the local DOT. They would NOT renew the registration…they said he had dropped the insurance, so he showed proof of new insurance. Then he was accused of driving it without insurance…no, it was not drivable. He proceeded to tell them he had done all the work himself and then they said he needed high-risk insurance because of the repairs…WHAT??? 

So….he came home, got all the receipts for the parts, but since he did the work himself, was that acceptable to them….the answer was NO. So, we happen to have a legitimate business that sells Jeep parts and does repair work. So, he got on the computer, made up an invoice with the business name on it, listed all the parts, charged HIMSELF labor, and printed it out. They accepted it!!!! This whole time I’m shaking my head thinking what is up with this place?

We live in a state that borders Mexico and since there are so many people without insurance, we have to have proof of auto insurance regularly. They don’t have a grace period either. They want their paperwork NOW. Hubby was there for hours trying to get the issue resolved. It took most of the day, but it worked, and now the Jeep is drivable, legal, and no longer collecting cobwebs.

Joy of Parenting: Sick Kids

Wanda Sikes has a great bit in one of her comedy acts about parents with kids. She reveals how parents with kids lie to parents considering having kids so as to pull them into their shared misery. “Sure it can be work, but it’s WORTH it!“ It is all in good humor, and I admit I laughed out loud many times.

I have four beautiful children, who each in their own special way(s) provide me with new and interesting ways to learn life lessons. One of our favorite comics to read is Baby Blues because the humor is so applicable to our current station in life. There is no doubt the two authors of that strip are and have been parents of small children. Practically every panel we read, my wife and I turn to each other and laugh because we can think of an exact situation where our children have done the exact same thing.

Because there are so many things to laugh about with parenting in order not to go completely stark raving mad, I have decided to start the first of likely many posts about the “Joy of Parenting.” This will include things that happen typically as a result of our little bundles of joy going through their typical stages in life that bring a strained grin to our faces (with clenched teeth) or any number of other emotions.

Today the topic is the seemingly perpetual situation of sick kids.

My family has been experiencing some sort of sickness since just before Christmas. Having a bout of sickness in the house isn’t all that uncommon in the winter months, but this year has been a doozy. Nothing warms the heart and brings the joy of parenting like dealing with vomit spewed on every wall and floor surface within imaginable reach of a child’s bed. The smell alone drives me from the room, as it would any sane individual. I don’t lay claim to having the strongest stomach in the world, but what comes out of my kids could have some sort of military application I am sure.

It’s bad enough that our kids have made sure they have a “throw up bucket” as a permanent fixture in their rooms. Pleasant, eh? Fortunately these last few weeks have been only coughs, sneezes and plenty of fevers. This “fortunate” side of things is difficult to remember when it comes to trying to console a moaning and crying one year old at 1 am, 2 am, 3:30 am, etc. I don’t think my wife or I can remember that last time we had an uninterrupted, full nights sleep at home. We find ourselves planning short getaway vacations simply for the opportunity to get some decent sleep!
Before kids, I rarely caught any sickness. Granted, I lived a more physically active life at the time, but I like to attribute the bulk of my more frequent sickness to my kids. We ship them off each day to these germ breeding grounds we call the school, where they share all manner of sanitized gear and situations. After a day full of germs swapping they come back with fresh crops of infestations to share with the family.

Once the little bugs have found their way into your house, the fun begins. If your lucky, the whole family catches it and you endure a few days or a week of misery together. That’s if you’re lucky. More typically one or two people get it, get better while the others incubate the little bugger only to get sick a week or so later and start the cycle all over again. Round and round, like a fun little infection merry go round.

Kids exhibit their discomfort in their own, personal little ways. Since discomfort was part of that statement, you know they don’t jump for joy and exclaim their gratitude for their feelings of misery and discomfort. Some just whine and moan a bit, others get cranky and bring out their little devil inside. I feel the most sympathy for my baby. As I write this post she has been crying for an hour with my wife trying to comfort her. Not the cry that annoys you, but one that makes you feel bad because she really feels that awful.
In our house, there are little privileges that come with being sick. Meals in bed, regular supplies of movies and TV when you normally can’t watch them, etc. Of course because of these little treats, even when our kids have even a little cough they try to embellish it in hopes of gaining the “extras” as soon as possible. You know your kid isn’t faking it though when after days of not eating you get so desperate for them to eat anything you offer ice cream and they still refuse.

We used to frequent the pediatrician on way too regular a basis, but with some experience under our belts now we are well on our way to qualifying for our own degree of some kind. We can diagnose our kid’s ailments with a decent measure of accuracy, enough that our doctor respects our judgment to take it at face value. My wife can practically sense an ear infection coming days away…really. I’d call it a sixth sense, but she is well beyond the single digits on her built-in motherly super-abilities.
Yes, sickness is never fun, and as part of parenting, you get to experience in in abundance. Vomit, coughing and sneezing in my face and more bodily fluids than I knew could come out of every orifice than I thought possible. Paints a lovely picture, doesn’t it? It’s a good thing I love these little buggers.

Am I “Micro-managing” My Kids?

The “Mom”

The high school my son attends has implemented Edline, a program which allows students and parents online access to assignments, course calendars, grade sheets, absence reports, team practice schedules… essentially every aspect of the high school student’s academic and extra-curricular life. Of course I am thrilled with this new tool! It should help my son to manage his life. But really, I am thrilled because it’s easier for me to keep on top of what’s going on and what my son should be doing. It gives me more material for those daily chats. Instead of asking “What homework do you have tonight? Can you get it done before baseball practice?”, I can say “So, you have Math and Latin homework and a History test to study for, better get moving or you won’t be done in time to go to baseball practice. Oh, and by the way, you’d better plan on starting that Chem project this weekend.” And, to myself I am saying “Haha! There’s no hiding now!”

Again, I am thrilled with this! I am a control freak – and I know it. But I have this nagging concern. I know that my reminders help in the short run, but what about the long run? When does he learn to manage all of this for himself? Am I really doing him a favor when I “manage” this? If he doesn’t learn to juggle these things now, what happens when he goes off to college, where there will be even more distractions?

I certainly never had anyone making sure I got my homework done. Up until now I have sorted of prided myself on being so much more involved than my parents were, but now I wonder if that’s for the best. I know the answer is “a happy medium”…but I’m just not sure where to draw the line for “medium”.

The “Dad”

All too often, our kids see “communication” and “control” as pretty much the same thing, so yes – it’s our job to know what’s going on even if they’re not inclined to tell us, and not just about the juicy stuff like sex and drugs, but about the boring, everyday icky junk like history homework.

We’ve run into the Miracle of the Sliding Grades with all our girls at one point or another, most recently when the Elf, a consistent A/B student, brought home (no, wait – when they mailed home) a B-/C semester report card, and boy, did the fur fly (little Fluffy the Cat has never been quite the same). It wasn’t any major life-crisis, as it turned out; just The Elf easing up and getting lazy, but we were none the wiser until it was a little too late.

Hereabouts we’re not helped much by the schools; where they loved us and begged us to be involved in the classroom and curriculum during elementary school, by middle/high school were useful only as fund-raisers, and then only at arm’s length. It’s time, they tell us, for the kids to take responsibility for their homework and grades or they’ll never learn…and at the same time they’re telling us that grades and academic performance are hugely important, now more than ever, for college and life at large. So, what, we let them fail (and damage their lifetime-chances-options) so they can learn…once again, just a little too late?

I think the grade grubber 6000, or whatever that system is, is a nice compromise: you can spy on them just as you should without being intrusive, and offer help when they really need it, not just when you think they might (or just when you – I mean me – really wants to.) Go forth and kibbutz – guiltlessly!

“The Teen”

It’s cool technology, I’ll admit. But I think it’s a bad idea.

High school students have their whole days planned out by teachers. When we get home, we don’t want our parents telling us that “you’ve got math problems, government notes and that big literature paper due tomorrow, oh, and you’ve got to set the table, help make dinner and babysit the kids across the street later tonight.” That’s a lot, and we know it! But we can handle it. Emphasis on the “we.” We the students. Not we the family.

Teenagers do a lot of juggling, but if you’re going to be juggling it for us… how will we ever learn?

I understand the need to control some aspect of your child’s life, but when it comes to homework. It should be up to them. A little help might be good, but it should be their responsibility to ask for help if they need it.

If you see your child struggling to get things done on time, or if their grades are slipping, ask if they need some help (with time management or studying) – don’t just give it to them.

Blog Action Day – The Environment

The first Blog Action Day is almost upon us. On October 15th, nearly 7,000 blogs will be all writing about one central theme, the environment. I think the concept of uniting writers from around the world to focus on a single topic is both interesting and exciting. I have no expectations of sudden world peace as a result of this effort, but an increased awareness may be a result. I feel fortunate to be doing my small part in this, and I am hoping that some of you may also be interested in participating in the event. If you have a blog, you are more than welcome to register at www.blogactionday.com no matter how small or large your blog is. They do prefer established blogs though, not ones started up just for the sake of participating.

If you do not have a blog but would like to participate I would really enjoy seeing some guest posts on What’s Gotta Go or What’s Gotta Stay for that day. The posts need not to be literary masterpieces; they can simply be your thoughts on the thing that are good or those that need to be fixed. The posts can be short or long, whatever your style or the amount you want to say. I have a few choice topics I plan to cover, but I am more than happy to have anything you might want to contribute.

If you are interested in writing, please contact me by submitting a comment on this post or emailing me at wgg (at) whatsgottago (dot) com. As always, sorry for the cryptic way of writing the email, but it helps in avoiding spam.

Please keep in mind that I am more than happy to receive your articles/posts prior to the 15th; I can hold on to them and post it on that day. I look forward to hopefully hearing from some guest writers!

I€™m Fine On The Bench Thank You

Ok, when did life turn into the Super Bowl? Or better yet WWF SmackDown?? EVERYTHING is a competition! This all came apparent to me this morning while driving my daughter to her high school. Her drop off area is in front of her school and every morning it is like the Indy 500 meets a Walk-a-Thon with cars all competing for the front spot and kids on foot darting in and out rushing to make the first bell. No parents are willing to wait and all insist on pushing down the cattle shoot to be able to drop their little darlin’ off right in front”¦this is almost impossible as really the driveway is only large enough for two cars to be side by side but somehow 3 squeeze thru”¦unless one is an SUV and then they are King and take up the two spots. I find it interesting with all the cars so close together no eye contact is ever made between parent drivers”¦shows weakness I guess. Heaven forbid you might look at someone and have to nod and give up the right of way.

car drive

My suspicions were confirmed we have moved into the ESPN Zone when driving thru my older neighbor where the streets are narrow. If cars park on either side of the street it makes it a slalom course and only one car at a time can fit thru. And this morning I met a Fiesta ready and willing to play chicken with me. Being the non-competitive person I am”¦gladly pulled over between two parked cars allowing the Fiesta to speed by. All of this got me to thinking”¦yes, that is a dangerous thing.

I take notes”¦I make lists”¦I worry I might not be prepared if there IS a test at the end of all this”¦”Ah I’m sorry God but I didn’t know we really had to pay THAT much attention.” So once home I ran my morning thru my head and came up with this theory”¦hypothesis”¦idea”¦REVALATION! Sorry, had 2 cups of coffee today”¦.

1. The world is divided into 4 Teams”¦The Haves, The Have Nots, The I’m Takin’ Yours and the I Don’t Care (this Team use to be known as I Don’t Give a Rat’s”¦but was found to be too controversial)

2. Training starts at birth

Rules change daily

3. Rules change daily

4. Team uniforms vary wide from Dior to Wal-Mart. Some Team members try to trick you by wearing other Team colors as status…that in itself is a competition.

5. There are no subs”¦once you’re in you’re in for the game!

6. Team equipment consists of cars, clothing, houses, iPods, cell phones, pets, gym memberships”¦heck anything goes into play at some point!

7. Extra points are given out randomly for front parking spaces grabbed, having “My Kid Is On The Honor Roll” bumper stickers, the loudest cell phone ringtone, longest Christmas Newsletter and maxing out more than 5 credit cards.

Ok”¦I’ve made my point (well in my mind at least). Call me a whiner”¦but I’m so NOT interested in making first string. I’ll gladly warm the bench and watch everyone else huff and puff their way thru life”¦stressed out and pushing to be first in line, first on the block with the newest model cars, TV screens so big I can sit in MY living room and watch”¦I given up trying to keep up with the Jones”¦heck it’s hard keeping up this level of average!

Anyone else wants to join me on the bench?